June 2012
29 posts
3 tags
May 2012
44 posts
6 tags
Praying for Chris
“I felt a haunting loneliness sometimes, and felt it in others—young clerks...”
– The Great Gatsby by Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald.
“Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet:...”
– Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time (via daisydandelions)
3 tags
“Mamihlapinatapai: is a word from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, listed...”
“you know how people say they don’t care about what other people think?...”
– jan
I’m going to electric daisy!!!! whooo!
Gotta finish my student teaching portfolio and get my lesson plans done.
Going to a Prada party at the met museum on Tuesday.
Life is really headed my way
but
I wish I was spending more time with you. I wish I could tell you that I miss you. You hit me up the other day and said that we should hang out. I said “aw, sure”. Yea, I guess...
May 11, 2012
It is May 11, 2012. I just woke up from a dream by bursting out in tears. I reached up and felt them went on my cheeks and I felt my heart shaking.
It started off at Fahima’s house. I was helping her sister put on a sari. (I have no clue how to put one on but in the dream I did). Her sis and mother was were making were talking to be like usual.
I ended up as an audience member at a talk...
When my best friend complains about not looking...
butitsonsale:
I’m like…
when it's late and i set my alarm
butitsonsale:
I realize that the alarm is set for only 3 hours in the future,
in high school when i would come home from a party
butitsonsale:
Trying to sneak in:
My parents catch me so I try to act normal:
Eventually I’m just like:
“Dear Old Love,
I sometimes look at pictures that I took of us years ago. I...”
“There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has...”
– Oscar Wilde
“Jan was back in the game! Pure, raw, explosive pleasure! Better than
drugs,...”
I Really Miss High School Jan
I just had a conversation with an old friend from hs that I haven't talked to in 4 years. In his mind I still exist as the 17 year old Jan. I really have forgotten who I am. I forgot what it's like to walk down the hall way and have boys swoon. I forgot what its like to feel sexy and be unattainable. I forgot what it's like to not have a broken heart. Somewhere in between my heart getting crush and all the work I forgot who I am. I'M THE SWEET PRETTY FUNNY POPULAR GIRL! It really meant a lot to hear his kind words and have him remind me of the shadows of who I am.
Inder: ur not crazy ur da efffffing bomb
Jan: aw
tell that to the guys that cheat one me
and reject me
Inder: no way
theyre fucking idiots
have no idea wat they got
Jan: lol
i agree
Inder: man you were the prettiest girl in highschool
Jan: awww
Inder: wat kind of idiots did u start hanging out with?
lmao
Jan: AHAHAHA
Inder: ughhhh all the beautiful girls meet retards
Jan: no ones betters come around
just worse
i really miss hs me
i dont feel sexy anymore
idk
i got crushed
Inder:
u dont feel sexy anymore? r u kidddding
ur the girl who wud get up in class n all eyes wud b on ur bum
ud walk in n wed follow it till u sat down
Jan: awwwwwwwwwwwwww
lol sigh
i dont think that happens anymore
its like the min i like someone back
they dont like me anymore
Inder: im sorry its the way it is
i really am
i never imagined it this way for you
i honestly thought u wud always get wat u want
n u wud have alredy found that perfect guy
the pretty girls always get snatched up first
and then pretty AND fun to be around?
you shudnt be single for a SECOND
Jan: u saying these things reminds me that I really have forgotten who i am
It’s my first day in the department of education system (teachnyc) and I already recieved a call from a principal that is interested in hiring me!
“Six seconds passed, and then he growled, “No, but what you respond to in any...”
– Kurt Vonnegut, from A Man Without a Country (thanks, flowerpickingrobot)
I think one of the reasons I didn’t go into business is because I knew that selfishness is part of the game. In teaching there is no cheating, no easy way. I come in everyday, I share knowledge and get paid for my time. There is no lying to anyone or stabbing anyone to get ahead.
