I really loved this movie.
Reminds me of the time I spent in Argentina and the realization I had during my stay there. I like to travel to leave things behind, but I discovered that no matter where you go in the world nothing is really ever left behind. Everything comes with you. I thought that with travel I could shed old thoughts, shed the broken heart. Turns out the thoughts and the heart follow a person from city to city.
Cities are the perfect breeding ground for isolation and monotony. At night I would look out my window in Argentina after a beautiful day in the city just to feel the same sense of lone as I do when I look out my window in New York after a beautiful day in the city. I don’t know if there is a word for this, something that is beautiful and simultaneously sad. “Bittersweet” comes to mind but doesn’t do the moment justice. Perhaps “bittersweet” thrown into a blender with “melancholy” and “magical” to create a new word would be able to capture a glimpse of the moment. That is what the feeling is like when you are up late and night and you catch a glimpse of the moon. Thank god that that no matter what city to city I go to in the world that the same moon will hanging by my window, looking back at me on those nights.
Missin’ Paris. HAHA decked out like a tourist
Fork by Jefferey Harrison
Because on the first day of class you said,
"In ten years most of you won’t be writing,"
barely hiding that you hoped it would be true;
because you told me over and over, in front of the class,
that I was “hopeless,” that I was wasting my time
but more importantly yours, that I just didn’t get it;
because you violently scratched out every other word,
scrawled “Awk” and “Eek” in the margins
as if you were some exotic bird,
then highlighted your own remarks in pink;
because you made us proofread the galleys
of your how-I-became-a-famous-writer memoir;
because you wanted disciples, and got them,
and hated me for not becoming one;
because you were beautiful and knew it, and used it,
making wide come-fuck-me eyes
at your readers from the jackets of your books;
because when, at the end of the semester,
you grudgingly had the class over for dinner
at your over-decorated pseudo-Colonial
full of photographs with you at the center,
you served us take-out pizza on plastic plates
but had us eat it with your good silver;
and because a perverse inspiration rippled through me,
I stole a fork, slipping it into the pocket of my jeans,
then hummed with inward glee the rest of the evening
to feel its sharp tines pressing against my thigh
as we sat around you in your dark paneled study
listening to you blather on about your latest prize.
The fork was my prize. I practically sprinted
back to my dorm room, where I examined it:
a ridiculously ornate pattern, with vegetal swirls
and the curvaceous initials of one of your ancestors,
its flamboyance perfectly suited to your
red-lipsticked and silk-scarved ostentation.
That summer, after graduation, I flew to Europe,
stuffing the fork into one of the outer pouches
of my backpack. On a Eurail pass I covered ground
as only the young can, sleeping in youth hostels,
train stations, even once in the Luxembourg Gardens.
I’m sure you remember the snapshots you received
anonymously, each featuring your fork
at some celebrated European location: your fork
held at arm’s length with the Eiffel Tower
listing in the background; your fork
in the meaty hand of a smiling Beefeater;
your fork balanced on Keats’s grave in Rome
or sprouting like an antenna from Brunelleschi’s dome;
your fork dwarfing the Matterhorn.
I mailed the photos one by one—if possible
with the authenticating postmark of the city
where I took them. It was my mission that summer.
That was half my life ago. But all these years
I’ve kept the fork, through dozens of moves
and changes—always in the same desk drawer
among my pens and pencils, its sharp points
spurring me on. It became a talisman
whose tarnished aura had as much to do
with me as you. You might even say your fork
made me a writer. Not you, your fork.
You are still the worst teacher I ever had.
You should have been fired but instead got tenure.
As for the fork, just yesterday my daughter
asked me why I keep a fork in my desk drawer,
and I realized I don’t need it any more.
It has served its purpose. Therefore
I am returning it to you with this letter.